Piss on Week 3.9.11

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. Chris Brown



No, Chris Brown’s hair color is not the result of a camera flash. This fool really dyed his hair blonde.

He gets pissed on for being Sisqo 2k11.

9. Yung L.A.


Apparently this guy didn’t realize that I pissed on Gucci Man for his face tat. Yung L.A. gets the business for getting the Mighty Ducks logo tatted on his face.

Not even Emilio Estevez got that tat and he was in the movie.

8. Celebrity Apprentice


The new season of the reality TV show “Celebrity Apprentice” will feature Nene Leakes from “Real Housewives of Atlanta” and La Toya Jackson. Pardon me, but can you really call either of these individuals celebs?

“Celebrity Apprentice” gets pissed on for forgetting that the keyword in their title is celebrity.

7. Porn Theatre


“Transformers” and “The Hangover” are flicks that were acceptable to catch at the movies with a friend. “Hot Soccer Moms in Action Vol. 5” is not.

I’m pissing on porn theaters for their pure existence and anyone who buys popcorn at such an absurdly sleazy establishment.

6. The After Midnight Menu


Imagine you just had a great night at the club and you want to stop and get a snack from McDonalds on your way home. It’s late so you only want a medium number four and two apple pies. Everything is going well until the drive through attendant tells you that they only serve large meals after twelve a.m. Who in the hell do these fast food places think they are forcing me to be a fat ass.

They get pissed on for saying they can only serve the large when I can see the medium container of fries chilling in the back.


5. Lupe Fiasco


Say it ain’t so? Did Lupe Fiasco say that he didn’t vote for Barack Obama?

He gets pissed on for being considered a conscious rapper, yet making a conscious decision to not partake in deciding the future of America.

4. Lindsay Lohan


Just when I thought Lindsay Lohan was turning her life around she is accused of stealing $2,500 dollars worth of jewelry.

She gets pissed on for not knowing how to stay the hell out of the media. Just sit down somewhere.


3. BYU


Bringham Young University dismissed one of the school’s best basketball players for breaking the schools ethics code. What was the infraction you ask? He had sex with his girlfriend.

BYU gets pissed on for ruining its chances at winning the NCAA Championship over a little premarital sex. Hey BYU! It’s not 1938 anymore so leave the kids alone.

2. Charlie Sheen


Charlie Sheen capped off a ridiculous week by threatening to decapitate his estranged wife and send her head to her mother.

Hey Charlie, winners don’t cut their wives’ heads off. Pissed on for being a complete weirdo...Pissed On!

1. Kim Kardashian


Damn Kim, two weeks in a row. Kim Kardashian’s new song with The Dream is quite frankly trash.Don't believe me? Go ahead and listen. I'll Wait.


She gets pissed on for not realizing that the only business venture I care to see her partake in is another sex tape.