Sincerely,
Professional Rationalist
10. Jennifer Lopez
There is a rumor that J. Lo is planning to marry her “new boo” Casper Smart. Now I don’t really give a damn whether or not it’s true. I’m just pissed off that J. Lo is dating a 25 year-old other than me!
Jennifer Lopez gets pissed on for not giving the Professional Rationalist any play.
9. Dame Dash
Former hip-hop mogul Dame Dash is in trouble again. This time he is being sued for $1.5 million by rapper Curren$y for releasing his music without consent.
Dame Dash gets pissed on for not realizing that he should probably call it quits with this whole rap thing. First Jay-Z. Now Curren$y. What’s next, The Chipmunks?
8. Budz House
Another bullsh*t movie about weed smokers will hit select theaterstres on April 13th. I could piss on the flick “Budz House” for being another terrible attempt at the “Friday” series.
Instead I’ll piss on the fact that they want us to think that this movie will be good when it only took them 13 days to make it.
7. Lil’ Wayne
As if being a self destructing weirdo wasn’t enough, Lil Wayne has a skateboard crew that is just as reckless. Their most recent attack took place on a cameraman who snapped photos of them skating on church property. Lil Wayne is probably going to hell for tearing up the church grounds.
But before he gets there, he’s getting pissed on for thinking he can actually skate!
6. Ebony and Joshua Rendon
The couple from MTV’s reality show “16 and Pregnant” recently had their child removed from the home by Child Protective Services for having poop on the walls. How do they get their act together? By having another baby!!
This couple gets “wet up” for not looking into a thing called birth control. No worries because I’ve got a show the two can star on. “”17 and Pissed On.”
5. Counting Money for No Reason
Have you ever seen someone standing outside counting money when you know damn well they are not about to buy anything? Then they do the same exact thing five minutes later. We get it man; you have money in your pocket!
I’m pissing on these wannabees for putting the $20 bill on the outside of a bunch of ones and thinking they are Cash Money all of a sudden.
4. Dumbass Tat
Do I really need to explain this one? Okay fine.
Pissed on for having money on his mouth instead of money on his mind.
3. Facebook
In case you have been living under a rock, Facebook recently bought the Instagram application for $1 billion. Are they really going to buy anything that smells like competition from now on?
Marc Zuckerberg gets pissed on for not just chilling out and watching the “Social Network.” He’s becoming as annoying as Tom from MySpace.
2. Bieber-mobile
Justin Bieber’s $100k car makes a Cadillac look like a hoopty. I’m not pissing on him for the high profile reflective paint job.
But he does get pissed on for grabbing a car when he can barely see over the steering wheel. Just put rims on a Power Wheels Jeep next time Bieber.
1.Mary J. Blige
My mom is going to kill me for this, but her favorite R&B singer deserves it.
When are people going to realize that shucking and jiving about chicken is only going to get you pissed on.
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