I have two superficial fears.
One is that I will loss all of my hair and be forced to go bald. I just don't have that Michael Jordan, he looks sexy, peanut sized head. I have a sloped, Neyo, LL Cool J, Saturday Night Live Cone Head, what the hell is wrong with your mother’s birth canal, type head.
Therefore, a baldhead on me would be a bad look. In some states it would be considered child endangerment.
Next, I don't want to be the old guy with a F.U.P.A. Once you have a F.U.P.A you are forced to buy a fanny pack. I’m pretty sure that is in the Constitution.
However, I also don't want to look like Steve Harvey. I can live with my baldhead, my F.U.P.A and (god help me) and my fanny pack.
But the Steve Harvey look, is not an option!
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