31 Percent: Piss on Week 1.24.11

Warning!! No one in the following blog post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who fines this segment offensive has the right and the duty to be pissed on as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. Andy Reid

First he told us McNabb was going to remain an Eagle before giving him the boot. Then he promised Kolb was the starting QB before giving Vick the gig. Now he’s fired defensive coordinator Sean McDermott after he just said he would be back next year. I’m not mad at Andy Reid for any of these decisions because they were all necessary.

But he does get pissed on for never knowing how to make up his mind.

9. Texting While Walking

T.W.W. (Texting While Walking) is not a crime; however, it is a piss-worthy offense when you fall into a water fountain.

8. Scratched CDs

Why is it that the scratch on your CD always affects your favorite song? It never messes up the skits or the radio song you’re tired of listening to anyway. Instead the one track you brought the damn CD for is unplayable.

I’m pissing on the fact that whenever I’m driving to a party, the only CD in my wheel that doesn’t skip is Carl Thomas.

7. Camden

The city of Camden was ranked the most dangerous city in America in 2009 and not much has changed since then…except for the fact that they are
The city of Camden gets pissed on for thinking that they are going to be able to solve crime with three cops and a watch dog.

6. Jealousy

I really don’t get it. You’re mad because someone has something you don’t? Instead of spending your time with your face all scrunched up, bust your ass and make enough money to buy whatever you’re so jealous about.

In the mean time...Pissed on

5. Skip Bayless

ESPN on air personality Skip Bayless did his best to convince everyone that interracial NBA player Blake Griffin should be considered white.

He gets pissed on for trying to bring the Dave Chapelle "Race Draft” to real life.

4. Chris Bosh

People have already been calling Miami Heat power forward Chris Bosh “soft” for quite some time. He provided ammunition for the verbal assaults by whining about an opponent hustling too hard. According to Bosh, "You've got to watch people's legs. I know guys want to hustle and everything but we all want to play and provide for our families and have a job."

He gets the business for trying to make the NBA less of a contact sport than it already is.

3. Flavor Flav Fried Chicken

No, this is not a joke. The first Flavor Flav chicken joint will be opening this year in Clinton, Iowa.

I’m pissing on Flavor Flav Fried Chicken for being the most ignorant invention since the 40 ounce of Colt .45.

2. Vybz Kartel