Piss on Week 2.23.11

Warning!! No one in the following post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive automatically gives me the right and the duty to piss on them as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. The Game

I have been trying to hold out on giving the business to this show, but I can no longer hold my bladder. ‘The Game” gets pissed on for only being a half hour long. Everybody knows that it takes a full hour to allow TV drama to unfold.

9. Kia


Can we all agree that Kia’s are economical vehicles? Usually with an economic vehicle you are trying to save money, correct? Then why in the hell can you purchase a fully loaded Kia equipped with wood grain interior?

Kia gets pissed on for providing the option to pay for more when the only reason you are purchasing one in the first place is to spend less.

8. Nelly


Nelly was acceptable as a rapper. He even made you believe that he could act in “The Longest Yard” with Adam Sandler. This time he has taken his business ventures too far. Nelly gets pissed on for coming out with his own line of workout DVDs.

He gets pissed on for thinking somebody died and named him the next Billy Blanks?

7. Mashonda


R&B singer Mashonda has launched a website called mashondaloyal.com that offers advice about love.

She gets pissed on for thinking that she can offer romance advice when her ex-husband, Swizz Beatz, left her for Alicia Keys.
The only advice she can give is how to pack your bags after you have been kicked to the curb.

6. Stephen Curry


Golden State Warrior Steph Curry really tried to put the moves on these teenage girls during the NBA All-Star festivities.

He gets pissed on for trying to make “To Catch a Predator” an NBA event.

5. Automatic Gratuity


I hate going to restaurants and the tip is automatically included in the bill. It’s not because I am cheap or anything, but what if the waiter doesn’t deserve 18% of the bill.

Since they leave me no choice in coughing up the tip, I leave them no option but to take a dose of this week’s urination.

4. Coffee Patron


Either you want a beverage to wake you up for work, or you’re looking for a drink to get you loose at a party. Sorry Coffee Patron, but you get pissed on for attempting to make people believe that you can have both.

3. Rihanna


Sounding like pure sh*t during her All-Star Game halftime performance didn’t get Rihanna pissed on, but her hairstyle sure did.

She gets the business for wearing the same hairdo she had immediately after the Chris Brown beat down.

2. Phonetic Failure


For the last time people it’s “R” not “Ara.” It’s “Tuesday” not “Tuz-dee.” Anyone who chooses to disregard phonetics can pronounce this phrase however they please…Pissed On!

1. Taco Bell


Taco Bell is pushing this Quad Steak Burrito like it’s the best thing since sliced bread. If I see the “Four times the steak” commercial one more time I’m gonna piss on my own TV.

In the mean time, I’ll just piss on Taco Bell for giving us four times the quantity as opposed to four times the quality.