LIFE: Sink or Swim

Breaking News: I can’t swim. Learning how to swim is currently number one on my “Bucket List.” Swimming looks like so much fun and relaxing. Not to mention the perks of applying sun tan lotion on attractive women so that they can prance around the pool or beach in next to nothing.

It’s not as if I haven’t tried to learn. My grandfather is my family’s unofficial swim instructor. He not only quit during my swim lessons, he also mumbled something about me being removed from his will. Friends have tried to help me as an adult which routinely leads me to apologizing for my lack of coordination as well as purchasing alcohol as a peace offering and or payment for the aspirin they need for the headache I caused.

I recently swallowed my pride and signed up for adult swim lessons at my gym. Signing up for the lessons was a tragedy in itself. I wanted to do the transaction like a big time coke deal. I whispered my desire for the lessons while at the reception desk. The front desk person essentially went on the loud speaker and announced my request to everyone in a 5 mile radius. At least that is what it felt like to me. She was simply speaking at a normal tone.

When day one of lessons arrived, paranoia set in. You would have thought a female acquaintance was late on her menstrual cycle. It took four songs and a pep talk from myself, for me to muster up the energy to get out of the car. At a glance, the pool seemed huge. I decided to channel my inner “Finding Nemo” and hopped right into the water. Stereotypically the class was filled with Asians and African Americans. I patiently waited for Dave Chappelle to make an appearance and yell “action” as this was surely high comedy.

Surprisingly, I took right to it. I wasn’t scared at all. My biggest fear was letting myself down. That and not packing my flip flops, gym lock, and swim trunks. Who knows why I wasn’t afraid, and who cares, as long as I get out of the kiddie pool and get to challenge Michael Phelps in the next Olympics.

If rules are meant to be broken then fears must be meant to be overcome. Give it a try. Ask your boss for a raise if you think you deserve it. Give the roller coaster a try. You’re a star so heights should be a piece of cake for you. If you’re out and see someone that you find attractive, go introduce yourself. Confidence is a turn on for most people. Give yourself a chance to sink or swim. With any luck you’ll make it out of the beginner’s class with flying colors.