Sunday, December 5, 2010

DATING: To whore or not to whore!

CAUTION: My articles are generalized and not meant for any particular or specific situations. Taking my well thought out opinions personal may cause anger, sadness, loss of sleep, or bitterness.

Results may vary!




Cornbread is back at it again. Lately I have been talking with some friends about “whores” and I feel like some people could use some advice. So here it is, the rules you should follow when being involved with a whore. Though these aren't all the rules, they are the ones that are most important. Now let's start:

1) Keep it private: It is not a common thing to take a whore out to dinner and a movie. Keep her in a house. She’s like a du-rag. Only use them for a little while in the private of your own home, but never take it outside the house.
2) Wear a Condom: SAFE SEX! But ESPECIALLY with a WHORE!
3) Leave the lights on: People assume when you turn the lights off, it’s so you don't have to look at the whore, which I must say is WRONG! “Lights off” is romance. Hit it from the back, push her head down and call it a night.
4) The acceptable hours are from 11pm-5am: She should not be there while you’re getting ready for work, or making dinner. She's there during booty call hours only.

This next one is personally my favorite.
5) Leave your socks on: Never get ass naked with a whore Straight skin-to-skin contact is very intimate and meant for someone you care about. Leaving those socks on leave some dignity. A loophole if you will.
6) No Kissing: If the chick is a whore she shouldn’t be kissed. DON'T DO IT. Why you ask? Well besides the fact that she probably sucked the penis of someone you know, she probably also has herpes. Good enough reason?
7) Wear a condom: I don't know how much I can stress that. STDs are real people.

The next one is the most important rule of them all.
8) WE DON'T LOVE THESE HOES: Basically, you can't turn a whore into a housewife. Let her play her position.

Simple as that. Those were some of the main rules to dealing with whores, so if you think someone your involved with is following these rules, you’re probably considered a whore. Ladies, even though l am speaking from the male perspective, it’s just as easy for you to follow these rules with man whores. If you want to ask me a specific question, just leave a comment and I’ll try to get back to you. The easiest and most direct way to contact me is through Twitter. Follow me (@FredE_Cornbread and @31percent.

Until later, I’m Fred E. Cornbread.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes. And yes again my friend.

Anonymous said...

OMG I think i just died of laughter after reading that, but the sad thing is...all of that was truth. Man all i can say is....im glad im not a whore.