Piss on Week 1.10.11

Warning!! No one in the following blog post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who fines this segment offensive has the right and the duty to be pissed on as well.

Sinceely,

Professional Rationalist



10. Real Housewives


I tried extremely hard to give this reality series a fair chance. But after watching ten minutes of women squandering money and bickering about frivolous issues I am left with no choice.

I’m pissing on Real Housewives for being anything but real life.

9. Jermaine Jackson

Jermaine Jackson’s passport expired while he was in Africa. Why can’t he just apply for a new one and come back to the States you ask? Because he owes $91,000 in child support!

He gets pissed on for skipping out on the child support bill but being able to afford a trip to Africa.

8. Eddie Simmons


Bensalem native Eddie Simmons pulled a gun on a snow blower operator because he thought the operator had blocked in his car.

Eddie gets the business for thinking that the best way to melt the snow was to pull out the heat.


7. Staring


I can never understand the concept behind staring at someone. Do we know each other? Do you find me attractive? Is there a booger in my noose? What is it?

If you have something to say then say it, otherwise you get pissed on for creating an awkward situation.


6. Happy New Year’s still?

We are almost half way through the month, yet people are still saying Happy New Year.
For future reference New Year’s is over when you recover from your December 31st hangover.

I’m pissing on these well wishers for acting like the New Year began on January 14th.

5. Snap Backs

The baseball caps made popular by entertainers such as N.W.A. and Will Smith have made resurgence amongst today’s youth. These $5 hats are reselling for as much as $50 on eBay. Now if the high school kids want to think they are reinventing the wheel by wearing these hats, then that’s fine.

But if you are in your twenties, trying to relive your Darkwing Duck days, then you deserve to be pissed on.

4. The Game


West Coast rapper The Game was ordered by a judge to pay $50,000 for beating his cousin, Robert Kirkwood, during the funeral of Robert’s sister.

The Game gets the business for disrespecting the dead.

3. Redman


Redman takes being budget conscious to a whole new level with his most recent music video. He cut out the lavish cars, the voluptuous groupies, and the exotic cars. In fact he cut out everything but the camera.

Redman not only gets pissed on for shooting a video with a camera that he most likely purchased off Craigslist but also for the song being called “Big Spenderz.”

2. Socks for Soldiers

There are numerous non-profit organizations that are collecting socks to send to the troops fighting for our country. I’m not pissing on the people organizing the donations, but the fact that the donations are even necessary.

Our government can afford million dollar artillery, but we can’t afford to get our men and women some Gold Toes socks? Pissed On!

1. Snooki


It’s bad enough that “Jersey Shore” reality star Snooki looks like..well…Snooki. It becomes piss-worthy when she imposes her hideous look on little kids.

Watch Snooki as she does a great job making this little girl look as ridiculous as she does.