Piss on Week 1.4.10

Warning!! No one in the following blog post is actually being pissed on. It is simply an expression meant to describe how outrageous and unforgivable the actions of the following people really are. Anyone who finds this segment offensive has the right and the duty to be pissed on as well.

Sincerely,

Professional Rationalist

10. Soulja Boy

So apparently Soulja Boy wrote “Whip My Hair” for Willow Smith and he wants his props.

He gets pissed on for not realizing why people don’t consider him a lyricist when he’s writing songs for nine year-old girls.

9. Brett Favre

Really Brett!! You were just sexually harassing everyone? Two massage therapists are suing Favre because they lost their jobs with the Jets after reporting inappropriate texts from Favre.

He gets pissed on for asking for a happy ending in the training room.

8. Alexander Pirone and Catherine McGrath

When most people show their love for one another in Church they do it with marriage. This couple decided to bend the rules a bit and show up to a midnight Christmas mass drunk as a skunk. To add to the melee they were fondling each other in their seats.

Pissed on for bringing the honeymoon to the chapel.

7. Tucker Carlson

This Fox analyst strongly suggested that Michael Vick should have been executed for his role in dog fighting. He gets the business for worrying about Michael Vick when people who murder humans get out early on good behavior.

6. Skillz

Since 2002, rapper Skillz has provided us with a lyrical wrap up of the year’s events which releases on New Year’s Eve. This years treat came a few days late and didn’t drop until January 3^rd. I know you are thinking it’s only three days!! But if we let it slide we may not get next years rap up until Martin Luther King Day…Pissed On!

5. “Beliebers”

The headlines are swirling that 16 year-old Justin Bieber has himself a cougar in 18 year-old actress Selena Gomez. Too bad his fans aren’t happy about it. Ms. Gomez has been receiving threatening tweets since pictures of the two have surfaced.

Bieber fans get the business for not letting the boy have some fun.

4. Ja Rule
Rule is planning on dropping an album before beginning a two year jail sentence. He gets the business for thinking that he is relevant to anyone other than people who have been in jail since 1999.

3. Gatorade

I went to buy a Gatorade for my workout the other day and apparently there is one to replenish electrolytes, another to quench thirst and another that..well I’m not sure what it does but it costs more.

I’m pissing the line and giving Gatorade the business for making one of the simplest decisions in my life very difficult.

2. Club Fights

I can never understand it. You are at the club with friends and very attractive women..and you decide to start a fight because someone bumped you?!? I’m pissing on anyone who is worried about the guy grilling them across the bar as opposed to the lady that’s checking you out.

1. “Are You 18?”

You ever accidentally/on purpose stumble across an explicit adult website saved in your favorites? Why in the hell do they ask are you over the age of 18? They get pissed on for thinking that any 16 year-old, who lied to his mom and said he’s playing Madden when he really looking at Booty Talk Vol. 75, is going to click No.